Dinner For Vampires

 

Dinner For Vampires

By: Bethany Joy Lenz

Genre: Memoir

Summary:

Once bitten by the acting bug, Bethany Joy Lenz chased her dream from New York to California. What she didn't plan on was falling into a Christian cult. Not to mention being the last one to realize she had. Within these pages, she tells how it all unfolded. She peels back the layers she didn't always know existed to show you what her life looked like before, during and getting out of the controlling hands of people she once trusted. 

From a young age, Bethany discovered her love for the arts. Whether it be acting or singing, these creative endeavors were her passion and escape. At 18, she formed a band while in New York. At 19, she moved to LA to pursue her love of acting. The two locations turned out to be more different than she anticipated. Life in New York seemed effortless and like home. Whereas, life in LA was isolating and made her feel as if she didn't belong. Friends were plentiful in one, but scarce in the other. 

Cue a group of people meeting at a house for a Bible Study. What started out innocently morphed into something everyone around her questioned. This group that studied the Bible together became a close knit group who supported one another. As time moved on, this tight group became to feel more like a family. The leaders taking on a more hands-on and controlling nature. While real family members of the group noticed a dark intention, the group themselves felt loved. However, that love grew more and more controlling, manipulative and sinister. As years rolled by, Bethany's feelings exchanged comfort for distrust. By the time the light finally shown on her situation, Bethany had a daughter. How was she going to get them out of this group's control? How was she going to protect her daughter from people Bethany now wanted nothing to do with?

There were numerus parts of this book that were hard for me to read. Seeing how subtle the leaders of this group gained control of it's members was disturbing. Seeing how manipulative they became of their members in order to continue their control was infuriating. What began as gentle emotional support grew into mind control. The leaders were able to so seamlessly gain autonomy over every aspect of the members. The leaders control their thoughts, decisions and jobs. All while the members never even thinking twice. Reading all of this was scary enough. Seeing it play out in Bethany's life was gut wrenching.

In Dinner For Vampires, Bethany tells you how they talked her out of making her Broadway dreams come true. How this group was instrumental in her job on One Tree Hill. She'll tell you how they would manipulate themselves back into front and center of her life whenever she began to drift away. How they preyed on her every vulnerability- even in the romance department. She would eventually marry the son of a leader and quickly realize the mistake it was. Bethany will tell you how huge that very mistake would go on to be. 

As you read her story, you will journey all over the emotional map. I felt anger at everyone for allowing this to happen. My heart broke when she would lose out on a dream they talked her out of. I was in shock when she discovered how much money they had taken from her. I was cheering her father on when he showed up locked and loaded with years of intel he had been doing into the main leader. By the time I read the last word, I was emotionally exhausted and I hadn't been the one to live it out. 

I applaud Bethany Joy Lenz for being willing to share her story. For being willing to share how she allowed people into her life who would eventually take it over. I would like to thank her for being so raw with this nightmare- I know there are other people out there walking a similar path. It wasn't an easy read so I know it wasn't easy to write. I'm glad she was able to claw her way out. I'm glad there were people ready and waiting to help her in any way they could- some were former members. 

I Want to Trust You, but I Don't

 

I Want to Trust You, but I Don't

By: Lysa Terkeurst

Genre: Christian Living

Summary:
You have been hurt or betrayed someone you never thought would do that. You've been devastated by the last person you expected to be. Now what? How do you process all the feelings you, and will, feel? How do you move forward? How do you repair the damage done to you in a healthy way? How do you trust again when your trust has been shattered? Lysa not only walks you through her own journey with these very questions, but she passes what she learned onto you. 

Most of us have been betrayed in our life. Some of us have been betrayed by the very person, or people, who continuously declared their unwavering loyalty. And, still, some of us have been betrayed by a loved one, forgiven them and given them a second chance only to be betrayed by them again. Whatever form betrayal took in our lives, it's often incredibly difficult to recover from. Betrayal is a special kind of weapon that leaves scars and wounds that run far deeper than we may realize. If any of this rings true to you, know that you aren't alone. 

Lysa has been betrayed by her husband, not once but twice. On top of that, she lost several close people in her life around the same time. So, I think it's fair to say, Lysa knows what she's talking about in regards to the subject. Within these pages, she walks you through her own journey of processing, healing and moving forward. She's honest- her flaws, bumps and bruises. She shares with you some of the wisdom she learned through her devasting journey. 

As I read this book, I related to a lot of things she wrote. I saw a lot of things I had to learn. She gets honest about relationships (any form of them) be founded in trust. She addresses those pesky read flags we all hope are flying by mistake, rather than the indicators they really are. Each chapter was full of nuggets that I needed to hear or be reminded of. 

The book covers numerous hard hitting aspects of betrayal. Read flags, why God allowed the betrayal to happen and how do you recover and move on if your betrayer gets away with it. Also, why do we stay or have a hard time leaving a relationship we know isn't healthy for us? I can't tell you how wide reaching the chapters are. I wasn't expecting them to be so targeted and full of validity.

I Want to Trust You, but I Don't is a great tool to pick up when you're ready to pick up the pieces and heal. It helps you make sense of things and feelings. It validates your feelings, but helps you process and express them in a healthy way. It was a great resource for me. I hope you find it the same for you.