Another Blonde Moment...

April 29, 2010

Blond Meet Snake

For a year I lived in a small (and I do mean small) mountain town called Anza. Being in the mountains, Anza was home to LOTS of dirt (you could bury a body & no one would know) and animals from bunnies (aah) to bobcats (not so aah). Counted among these animals were snakes. Every resident has their encounter stories with the commonly seen coyote and the less than commonly seen bobcat. I'm happy to say my encounters with both of these animals was in the safety of my own car as they ran across the road I was driving on. Every resident also has plenty of snake encounter stories. For the majority of the time I lived in Anza I was happy to be among the few who had not come face to face with the slithery kind. However, my luck ran out and here is my snake "encounter" story.

I had been packing things up in our bedroom since we were getting ready to move. As I did countless times every day I looked out the window. This particular window gave you a view of our front yard. Any bunnies? No. Any squirrels? No. Any quails? No. Any.... SNAKE! SHIT!!

There is was making it's way from behind one of my rear tires towards the house!! HOLY CRAP!! This much I knew: it was little, it was a fleshy color, and it was moving closer to my house!! Oh yeah, and it was a snake! I immediately called my husband who's a teacher at the local school.

Me: There's a snake in front of the house.
Him: What kind of snake?
Me: I don't know. One that moves.
Him: Is it a poisonous snake?
Me: I don't know.
Him: What color was it?
Me: A fleshy color
Him: Is it a big snake?
Me: No, it looked little.
Him: Did it have a rattle at the end?
Me: I don't know. I don't think so.
Him: Where is it now?
Me: I don't know. I lost it when it crossed the garden border.
Him: It probably went under the house. (We lived in a modular house) Just don't go outside if
you don't know where it is and I'll take care of it when I get home.

Okay, like me leaving the house with a snake on the move and on the lose was going to be an issue!! The bookstore wouldn't have been able to get me to come of the house. And what did he mean it's under the house??!!
I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. Then I did what any one who was not calm, cool, or collected with a fear of snakes would do. I shut and locked all the windows and doors. Then I closed all the floor vents in the house. For good measure I put a couple of books on top of each one to ensure Mr. Snake would stay outside.

Just as I breathed a sigh of relief, I remember seeing on the news that people have found snakes and other animals coming up through their toilets. OK, I know these instances were in Florida but my imagination was in over drive. Besides, my rationality was that if it happened in Florida it COULD happen. Therefore, it COULD happen anywhere. So, I put all the toilet lids down and stacked several towels on top so they would stay shut.

While I waited for my knight in shining armor to rescue me from the evil snake. I called my Mom. It got strangely quiet when I told her I saw a snake. Apparently she already knew how I was going to react. WHen I told her about turning the house into a fortress it took awhile for her to stop laughing. A long while. Then she commended me on putting the house on lock down so the snake couldn't come inside for tea. Ha ha, very funny. By the time my husband came home, reported he couldn't find the snake, I had paced a whole in our carpet and was probably getting a bladder infection. He had a good laugh over it all, as has everyone who has heard the story.


Wendy on April 29, 2010 at 1:03 PM said...

I totally would have freaked out too! Snakes creep me the hell out! Gaaah.

Jen on April 29, 2010 at 1:31 PM said...

glad i'm not the only one!! i hope you have a great day

The Queen B on April 29, 2010 at 2:15 PM said...

I love snakes ;)

Jen on April 29, 2010 at 3:22 PM said...

i know you do. i wish i was more like you in this respect. one day i will get over my fear of them...

Anonymous said...

You have always had a thing about snakes. Remember "fuzzie". I'm still laughing!

Jen on May 2, 2010 at 8:25 PM said...

lol! thanks, mom. you'll never forget that!!

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