Now That We're Speaking The Same Language

January 1, 2014

Now That You're Speaking My Language
By: Gary Chapman
216 pages

Learning how to have good, positive communication and intimacy on all levels for a successful marriage.

The man who brought you The 5 Love Languages is back with another book. This time around, he's taking aim at the way married couples communicate and helping them have an intimate marriage.

I liked that Gary Chapman was open and honest about his own marriage. The early years were nothing like what he and his wife thought they would be. After several years of unhappiness, they were able to get on the right track. It was nice to see an author of a self-help book be this vulnerable. Mr. Chapman is very open about the mistakes he made and the misconceptions he entered his marriage with. He never once gave me the impression of him being better than anyone else, just someone who's navigated the bumpy road already.

He compares 4 different patterns of communication with birds that reflect that personality. He lists the 5 levels of communication for you, and which ones you should strive for.

The second half of the book focused more on intimacy- and he's not talking about just the bedroom. He tells you the different types of intimacy there are, and how to achieve them. He tells you what a contract marriage is and how it's different from a covenant marriage. Again, the author is open about how he participated in both. 

Now You're Speaking My Language is a positive read on how to have the kind of marriage God intended you to have. God doesn't want you to have a contract marriage, where it's all business. He wants you to have a covenant marriage, where your marriage is a sacred bond. This book is great for couples who haven't gotten married yet, just got married, or been married for decades. The approach isn't negative or hopeless, but a positive one. If you're struggling with the communication, or just feel like the bond isn't as close as you'd like it to be, you can make it better. As long as you have the will, Gary Chapman has a way.


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